Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - The reasons why you aren't successful at finishing or getting things done

TaylorLord · 05-20-2009, 03:45 AM

Hey friends this is my latest post at G3! Hope you enjoy. -Taylor

I feel like this post will really resonate with a lot of you.

How many times have you started a project and left it dead in its tracks? Or even started something, got great results and then quit! How bout been in relationships where you just went along with it instead of letting them know how you really feel? If your like me we have all done this many times in our lives. The reason for it is not because you cant do it, its because you don’t really want to do it in the first place.

Do you really want it?

Its not even about procrastination its about desires, intentions and motives. Do you really want it? If you don’t truly want something, you don’t truly want it, there no room for anything else and this is the truth. The desire isn’t big enough to give you the momentum to finish. It would be like you drag racing with no engine and instead your being pulled by a mule. There’s nothing there to pull you to the finish line.

What are your true motives?

Motives are the other key factor in all of this. What is your motives for doing or completing something? If your motives aren’t rich your going to do poorly. For example starting to loose weight because someone wants you to. At first you may be all about it, you do your research, you join a gym, you buy some super stretchy spandex pants and slowly you become a splitting image of your new idol Richard Simmons! Then you turn into this other person.

Now do you think that you are going to last and keep up the diet? Why don’t you think so? I’m afraid you will not. Its not going to work because you didn’t want it in the first place. There’s no real substance and solid foundation behind it. You made it something that someone wanted for you and that is an instant fail! Doing something because someone wants you to is short lived.

When i was in high school I told all my friends and family that i joined the football team to get in shape and gain muscle But deep down i had other motives

. I was doing it to impress a cheerleader that i was obsessed with. So here i was an 11th grader five foot nothing, 145 pound varsity “football player” which turned in to JV where I sat on the bench most of the season lol. Very impressing i know man she was all over that! I did stick it out till the end but had no plans what so ever of playing football again my senior year. You see stupid reasons for starting things end up ending stupidly. If your not doing it for yourself and what you truly want, you end up hurting yourself and wasting your time.

Approval Seeking

Another reason why you end up quitting something is because you are looking for approval. Approval seekers will do whatever they can to get the okay from someone even if that means putting their very personality on the line. An approval seeker will dance around someone till they get some sort of approval or acceptance and then immediately after they do, they quit. Approval seekers quit because they got what they wanted, the attention. They realized that the feeling of approval wasn’t worth the work that they were putting in and they squash it. You see if your not doing things for yourself things aren’t going to last. Filling effort into something that your not about is unfulfilling.

Gotta want it for yourself

If your a drug addict and someone wants you to go to rehab and you end up going it may keep you sober temporarily. After a little bit you will be back at it. Time and time again this happens over and over. The only way that an addict will truly quit is to do it for their self!

Focus on what comes easy

In school teachers told me “you have a problem with focus” and I was told that my entire public schooling life. The only real problem I had was forcing myself to learn things I had no desire or drive to learn. So instead of forcing myself to enjoy something and learn, i would fail it instead. Teachers didn’t realize that I had a great focus and passion in art and writing because those were the classes actually liked to focus in.

I really do not believe people have a “bad focus problem” we have a “not interested and bored with this” problem. If you don’t like something you will not give it your undivided attention, that’s the bottom line. You can pretend for quite awhile but the bottom line is there’s nothing in it for you.

Relationships

This can even effect your relationships with your friends and family and even your dating life. What is your intention of dating? “I wanted a girlfriend..” About four years ago I was in a unfulfilling relationship that lasted two long years. Although there’s no hard feelings i will admit that the foundation of my motives was off from the start. So as you can tell where this is going. My intentions were way off and I ended up having to pay the price.

Business life

Pretending to want to stay in something after you realized you don’t want to is like having a bad itch that your not allowed to touch. You can fight off the urge at first and pretend its not there but sooner or later its going to build and get to you and hopefully you are gonna scratch like no one scratched before! Why not just keep your intentions honest to yourself the first time around so you don’t have to go through all this trouble. If you are in a business or job that you got yourself into, well its never to late to get out! If your intentions of getting the job or starting a business is shallow than its time to reevaluate before you get any deeper.

Is there motivation in money? If wealth building is what you solely desire than yes money can be a legit motivator. Now is money going to make you happy. No sir probably not. Just think about scrooge!

Its okay to not finish

You see its okay not to finish. Not finishing something you don’t like isn’t a character flaw, its a character PLUS. Its better to admit defeat then to stay doing something you know that will be the death of you. If you believe in something, you give it your all, you fight with all you have, you really want it then you will be successful.

Evaluate and ask yourself some questions today about your intentions and why are doing things you are doing. Weather it be a relationship, job, hobbies, starting a new blog etc. be true to yourself, do what you love and you will finish and be very, very successful!

Feel free to leave a comment below, I would love to hear from you but make sure your doing so for yourself and not what i want you to do

To see more creative personal development articles go to my blog at God Given Growth!

05-20-2009, 03:45 AM	#1 (permalink)
TaylorLord Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 147	The reasons why you aren't successful at finishing or getting things done Hey friends this is my latest post at G3! Hope you enjoy. -Taylor I feel like this post will really resonate with a lot of you. How many times have you started a project and left it dead in its tracks? Or even started something, got great results and then quit! How bout been in relationships where you just went along with it instead of letting them know how you really feel? If your like me we have all done this many times in our lives. The reason for it is not because you cant do it, its because you don’t really want to do it in the first place. Do you really want it? Its not even about procrastination its about desires, intentions and motives. Do you really want it? If you don’t truly want something, you don’t truly want it, there no room for anything else and this is the truth. The desire isn’t big enough to give you the momentum to finish. It would be like you drag racing with no engine and instead your being pulled by a mule. There’s nothing there to pull you to the finish line. What are your true motives? Motives are the other key factor in all of this. What is your motives for doing or completing something? If your motives aren’t rich your going to do poorly. For example starting to loose weight because someone wants you to. At first you may be all about it, you do your research, you join a gym, you buy some super stretchy spandex pants and slowly you become a splitting image of your new idol Richard Simmons! Then you turn into this other person. Now do you think that you are going to last and keep up the diet? Why don’t you think so? I’m afraid you will not. Its not going to work because you didn’t want it in the first place. There’s no real substance and solid foundation behind it. You made it something that someone wanted for you and that is an instant fail! Doing something because someone wants you to is short lived. When i was in high school I told all my friends and family that i joined the football team to get in shape and gain muscle But deep down i had other motives . I was doing it to impress a cheerleader that i was obsessed with. So here i was an 11th grader five foot nothing, 145 pound varsity “football player” which turned in to JV where I sat on the bench most of the season lol. Very impressing i know man she was all over that! I did stick it out till the end but had no plans what so ever of playing football again my senior year. You see stupid reasons for starting things end up ending stupidly. If your not doing it for yourself and what you truly want, you end up hurting yourself and wasting your time. Approval Seeking Another reason why you end up quitting something is because you are looking for approval. Approval seekers will do whatever they can to get the okay from someone even if that means putting their very personality on the line. An approval seeker will dance around someone till they get some sort of approval or acceptance and then immediately after they do, they quit. Approval seekers quit because they got what they wanted, the attention. They realized that the feeling of approval wasn’t worth the work that they were putting in and they squash it. You see if your not doing things for yourself things aren’t going to last. Filling effort into something that your not about is unfulfilling. Gotta want it for yourself If your a drug addict and someone wants you to go to rehab and you end up going it may keep you sober temporarily. After a little bit you will be back at it. Time and time again this happens over and over. The only way that an addict will truly quit is to do it for their self! Focus on what comes easy In school teachers told me “you have a problem with focus” and I was told that my entire public schooling life. The only real problem I had was forcing myself to learn things I had no desire or drive to learn. So instead of forcing myself to enjoy something and learn, i would fail it instead. Teachers didn’t realize that I had a great focus and passion in art and writing because those were the classes actually liked to focus in. I really do not believe people have a “bad focus problem” we have a “not interested and bored with this” problem. If you don’t like something you will not give it your undivided attention, that’s the bottom line. You can pretend for quite awhile but the bottom line is there’s nothing in it for you. Relationships This can even effect your relationships with your friends and family and even your dating life. What is your intention of dating? “I wanted a girlfriend..” About four years ago I was in a unfulfilling relationship that lasted two long years. Although there’s no hard feelings i will admit that the foundation of my motives was off from the start. So as you can tell where this is going. My intentions were way off and I ended up having to pay the price. Business life Pretending to want to stay in something after you realized you don’t want to is like having a bad itch that your not allowed to touch. You can fight off the urge at first and pretend its not there but sooner or later its going to build and get to you and hopefully you are gonna scratch like no one scratched before! Why not just keep your intentions honest to yourself the first time around so you don’t have to go through all this trouble. If you are in a business or job that you got yourself into, well its never to late to get out! If your intentions of getting the job or starting a business is shallow than its time to reevaluate before you get any deeper. Is there motivation in money? If wealth building is what you solely desire than yes money can be a legit motivator. Now is money going to make you happy. No sir probably not. Just think about scrooge! Its okay to not finish You see its okay not to finish. Not finishing something you don’t like isn’t a character flaw, its a character PLUS. Its better to admit defeat then to stay doing something you know that will be the death of you. If you believe in something, you give it your all, you fight with all you have, you really want it then you will be successful. Evaluate and ask yourself some questions today about your intentions and why are doing things you are doing. Weather it be a relationship, job, hobbies, starting a new blog etc. be true to yourself, do what you love and you will finish and be very, very successful! Feel free to leave a comment below, I would love to hear from you but make sure your doing so for yourself and not what i want you to do To see more creative personal development articles go to my blog at God Given Growth!