you say, "unlike most attractive women at bars" as though you've been hurt in the past, and describe he as different like you had an expectation of what women were like and she's different, which means you probably have an expectation for how she must behave now with you and are getting sad that she's not living up to that.
i don't think it's such a big deal that you must make plans but that doesn't seem to be the issue. easy way to resolve that is to not make plans for a while and withhold the urge to contact her. either she makes plans or not. next.
drop the expectation and lighten up. it's just a girl. seems like you've gotten yourself invested in the interaction and how it turns out - she definitely feels that and pulls back, you want to make plans more and the scales tip.
just let go. if it doesn't work out, there are millions of awesoem girls out there.
bottom line is that she can feel how you feel and as soon as you see her as important or a big deal, you're done.
i recommend checking out
Real Social Dynamics Nation and reading "the way of the superior man" by David Deida
good luck
alex