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Originally Posted by James81  It also helps to realize that the people who harassed/bullied you were projecting their own insecurities onto you.
As for the social anxiety, I understand that. I still get a little anxious meeting new people. Some things that have helped me:
1. Playing LOUD music in my car and absolutely rocking out to it....the fast movements really shake and loosen you up, so that when you get out, you're not as nervous/anxious.
2. Having a beer before going out (and then chewing some gum or having a breath mint or something). Just one. Don't get drunk or anything.
3. Meditation. This works best when you make it a habit. If you only do it at random times, you're going to get sparse, sporadic results.
4. Realizing, truly realizing, that the other person isn't as focused on me as I am. The times I am most comfortable are the times when I am successfully able to shift my focus off myself and the fear of doing something stupid and ONTO getting to know the other person. It also helps me to know that the other person is more worried about how THEY appear to ME, than how I appear to them.
5. Maintaining a sense of humor. There's nothing that loosens up a social activity like laughing with them and joking around.
6. Preparing for the awkward or silent moments by having some topics "in reserve" to talk about. |
I've actually tried all these things, but I've never made a habit of meditation, just off an on occasionally..
Even though I've tried these things, it's good to hear that they've been successful to know they're probably a good thing to do.. I've got a good sense of humour, but I can seem quite serious to some people before I get to know them..
Thanks for your time, been helpful!