Quote:
Originally Posted by brendannz  Oh yeah,
you're probably right about kissing being no big deal. It's just that it's not an everyday thing for me to be making out with chicks in a public place..
and I think with future meetings it's just my social anxiety.. I can get flustered real easily and even blush just on meeting girls, so I'm embarassed by my own social anxiety. But I've worked on it a bit, over the years.. Really, unless you're really rude, then it's hard to offend..
I used to get harassed, even bullied a bit in the past by people for sexual inexperience, but now I realise that they just couldn't mind their own business because their own business wasn't worth minding.. |
It also helps to realize that the people who harassed/bullied you were projecting their own insecurities onto you.
As for the social anxiety, I understand that. I still get a little anxious meeting new people. Some things that have helped me:
1. Playing LOUD music in my car and absolutely rocking out to it....the fast movements really shake and loosen you up, so that when you get out, you're not as nervous/anxious.
2. Having a beer before going out (and then chewing some gum or having a breath mint or something). Just one. Don't get drunk or anything.
3. Meditation. This works best when you make it a habit. If you only do it at random times, you're going to get sparse, sporadic results.
4. Realizing, truly realizing, that the other person isn't as focused on me as I am. The times I am most comfortable are the times when I am successfully able to shift my focus off myself and the fear of doing something stupid and ONTO getting to know the other person. It also helps me to know that the other person is more worried about how THEY appear to ME, than how I appear to them.
5. Maintaining a sense of humor. There's nothing that loosens up a social activity like laughing with them and joking around.
6. Preparing for the awkward or silent moments by having some topics "in reserve" to talk about.