The only problem is I need to soul-search everytime after dating him. I need to repeatedly ask myself if I still want to go out with him as his underground partner, accepting the fact that I can't never introduce him to friends and vice versa, accommodating his schedule for he's dating other girls as well, etc
Are you sure he isn't married? And why would he need a "secret" girlfriend? This doesn't seem right and I think you realize it to - that's why you are asking yourself these questions. He almost acts like he's ashamed of you. Why would you want to be with someone who treats you like that?
The only way to make him care for you more is you need to stand up for yourself. Tell him this is not acceptable anymore. The bad part is, he may leave. But he may come back to you with more respect for you than before.
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