im not really articulate about this subject but i know it well deep down.because i have struggled with it too.and gone through the whole gamut of 'separating' myself from this 'dominant-by default' relationship.
i think the moment you see your parents as individuals ,having their own goods and bads,just normal fallible people,struggling with their own hang ups, like others is the time you actually start growing up.
irrespective of your age.
for some people that never happens.they remain stuck with the provider-dependent equation till they die.with their parents firmly planted on pedestals along with other deities worthy of worship.
wanna test this?
what kind of a God do you believe in?
is he cruel?or forgiving?or indifferent?or all-love?all providing?rewarding?(this could be a long list)
now scrap out God and observe how you see your parents...
now scrap out the parents and observe how you see your relationships...
im happy for you dreamtime.because you have put your focus on a fundamental which defines you.
ps .these feelings of love-hate that you experience are resentments and grudges of a powerless person for the one who is powerful.