andrew, you and I are very similar in this respect.
Groups do tend to force certain people into solitude, especially when cliques form. Forming a group is natural, but cliques are exclusive and only serve the ego where its members feel being part of a particular crowd affirms their importance.
As for how to make and find real friends...I don't know. It hurts to see people come and go. People stay "friends" with others because they can give them something, like it's a business transaction. Once their purpose is used, they discard their friends. What has the word "friend" come to mean? It's used too lightly.
I understand it's not easy. I've also had trouble making/maintaining friendships because of my introversion. No one seems to get it. People are so used to being outgoing and active that the idea of being in an intimate setting, having a calm conversation is not really their idea of a good time.
The notion that placebo brings up is interesting. Humans are social creatures and we need some sort of interaction with humans. But our idea of who fills the area of "friend" in our life is what matters. Before a few people fulfilled many areas of a person's life, and now many people fulfill many areas of a person's life. It depends on what you want.
Placebo, does it bother you that the topics of conversation tread along the lines of weather, business and "mundane" things without going deeper into more important matters?
Indeed we are blessed if can find one true friend in our lives. Real friends are so hard to find. I hope we all can find one.  |