But that (the rape) is just a drop in the bucket. Doesn't matter whether it was true or not. The important thing is that she was lying to you and she won't cut ties with her exboyfriend.
Everything else is just immaterial beyond that. When you begin to respect yourself, love yourself, etc. you'll discover that you won't want to be with someone who intentionally hurts you like that.
So, in a way, inverse-paranoid's advice is good for you. But not for the reasons you think. It won't teach you how to love her with all these faults. What loving yourself will do is show you that you deserve better.
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