I don't know where to begin in offering advice. This situation sounds messed up in a number of ways, but I think I would be severely upset if my girlfriend told me she was raped but was still talking to the guy. Why does she not have enough respect for herself to remove this guy from her life if he has done such an atrocious thing to her? Why does she not have enough self respect for you to be honest about it? Why are you not having sex as much and why don't you have the level of communication to talk through the reasoning with her?
I don't know where to start giving you advice but these sound like questions I would want answers to if I was in your situation and if I couldn't get answers to them I would consider leaving the relationship.
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