Quote:
Originally Posted by Plato  
Knowing the directions to Hell and back makes it all worth it.
What exactly does the polarity theory mean for you, Andrew? In practical terms how does it serve you?
I know what it means for me, but I'm curious to see if it's the same for you. |
Well I've experienced both poles quite strongly. My teacher, Pablo, who is a great psychic and pretty obviously enlightened, tells me that I'm a "channel of entry and exit" meaning that I can channel both energies very powerfully.
As a kid I experienced really intense states of love... but my parents' dark energy, combined with my tendency to take whatever energy was in my system and amplify it massively, dragged me again and again into darkness and sickness. The sickness, Pablo tells me, was a manifestation of this internal conflict - my body was attacking itself.
After being in the hospital for long periods of time, the suffering tore away my ego... so when I got better, I experienced such intense joy that I knew that this was the only thing worth living for. I got dragged into the darkness again, and had it even more powerful than before maybe to balance it out. My problem was that I was a loner of sorts, so when I felt bad I retreated out of reach of help and saw anyone who would help as an enemy come to make me suffer. So I didn't get this connection which helps people stay in the light which you talked about - I spent maybe three years almost entirely alone. At the worst of times I had crazy fantasies of taking over the world, but even when I had the chance to hurt people I didn't... my deeper nature held me back I think. Even when I was at my worst, I knew that this pain didn't have to be there. Once you've tasted the light I don't think there's any going back. Or maybe that's just me. I know when Pablo offered to help me but started out with the "you first have to choose between darkness and light" speech I looked at him like he was crazy - why would anyone choose darkness?
So a long time in my spiritual seeking I was trying to find this light but actually dark energy was fuelling the search. For instance I realised that I felt this joy when I was connected with people - so I tried to get friends out of fear, which is completely incapable of connecting. For a long time I tried to manipulate and ego myself to enlightenment. Polarity offered a piece of the puzzle - becoming conscious of the energy I was using in any given moment and realising that I was choosing between them... I had a certain control. It also helped me to realise some things which aren't intuitive in our society... like, you can't use anger or fear to get to joy. That evil is suffering and good is happiness. That humour, peace and fun are sources of power. Etc. I'm still learning these subtleties... or waking up to them, maybe, cause some part of me already knows.
Nowadays I'm quite conflicted... I can feel the fear and pain you speak of... if I ask myself "where is the pain?" I can feel a kind of dark burning round about my shoulder blades, which I guess symbolises "the wieght of the world" I dunno... but underneath all that it's so easy to locate that burning desire to find the light again and to love as hard as I can...... it's so intense... when it comes out I just radiate love at the world, smiling for no reason, like a little Eckhart Tolle... So I know life can be so much more. It's the only thing that stopped me killing myself several times over. I got so much to give to this world while I'm here.