I was reading through the Bach Flower Remedy descriptions, and found this one. It made me think of you
Are you one of those who find that life has not much interest: who wake almost wishing there were not another day to face: that life is so difficult, so hard, and has so little joy: that nothing really seems worth while, and how good it would be just to go to sleep: that it is scarcely worth the effort to try and get well?
It's from the Clematis remedy. Maybe you could check it out