I was reading through the Bach Flower Remedy descriptions, and found this one. It made me think of you
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Are you one of those who find that life has not much interest: who wake almost wishing there were not another day to face: that life is so difficult, so hard, and has so little joy: that nothing really seems worth while, and how good it would be just to go to sleep: that it is scarcely worth the effort to try and get well?
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It's from the Clematis remedy. Maybe you could check it out