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Old 05-09-2009, 06:02 PM   #115 (permalink)
Angela
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Lacinato mentioned conventional or stereotypical attraction, not physical desirability. She/he said she/he doesn't feel bad for the "supposedly "nice" guys who can't get a date with a conventionally attractive woman--I think they might find more success if their criteria were a little less vapid," I agree with her/him.

Men may be hardwired to be attracted to women they find physically desirable, but the men who buy into a convention of what is and what isn't physically desirable, rather than tuning in to their own natural desire, are SOL. They start believing they *should* (or *shouldn't*) be with a woman who looks a certain way, that he *deserves* it (or doesn't), or that being with a woman who looks a certain way raises or lowers his perceived value among other men and other potential mates. The "nice" guys who believe those thoughts and complain that they can't get a date seem a little pathetic to me, because they don't realize it's their own thoughts that keep them from being present to authentic desire. There's little quite as sad as being the victim of your own beliefs.

And women do the same thing, too, just not always with looks -- I think more often with money or status.
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