[elias_naur]

Originally Posted by James81

It helped me when I stopped looking at it from the perspective of "childcaring" and looked at it from the perspective building a relationship with my children. At the end of the day they are people, just like me. And even though their needs are more simplistic while they are young, there is still a need to build the relationship there.

I also started looking at it as a way to grow in my own personal development (which helped me in leaps and bounds) and started realizing that they have a view on life to which I want to strive for.

It's easy for us to get lost as adults as to what's most important in life, and kids have that perspective naturally.

Well, this isn't "work." (no wonder you are having such a go at this) This is human interaction and relationship building. You can't approach relationships the way you approach work. Relationships are fluid and ever changing, like a stream. You don't work to any particular goal in a relationship, but rather you flow with the stream wherever it takes you.

Ok, relationships then. Let's say I posted a "I love my girlfriend very much, but I don't get anything worthwhile from our relationship" you might suggest leaving her. Same thing with a friend that's holding you back ("spend less time with him"). And you base your advice on the assumption that my girlfriend/friend owns her own life and takes care of herself.

Not so with children, abandoning them will leave them without a father _and_ the mother or someone else is forced to take over.

So in the frame of relationships: I don't get much out of the relationship with my children and would ideally prefer less time with them. What can I do about it?

I've since discussed the issue with my ex-wife who is unfortunately not open for either taking more days nor the idea of me or a nanny helping her out more and bringing them to and from day care when she needs it. In fact, she wants to work a bit more short term to clear off some debt. Her intended goal is to have them more, but I'm not sure when that is going to happen.

I don't think your children are necessarily "unwanted."

Heh, I can see now that the thread topic might be a bit too much. Who knows, I probably wanted to elicit a "no no, you're not completely bad, they're not unwanted"

I just think 7 days of consecutive, single parenting is a bit much. I am a Mother and when my husband and I split, we did every 2 days and it worked out to where we had every other weekend for 3 nights. Now that may sound like a lot on the child(ren), but I think it's all in how you perceive/project it.

If I undertand you correctly, you two still have them equally much. In what way does the more frequent swapping help, compared to 7 days straight (but also 7 days without them)?