What a great discussion!
As Scorpio brought up in
another thread, women can fall into the trap of thinking it unfair for guys to care about our appearances as long as we're winners on the inside. Or, take gender out of it: It's unfair for a person to care about the appearance of their lover as long as they're a good person.
I think we're deluding ourselves.
Not only about that situation existing (which it apparently doesn't), but for thinking that it's an ideal situation.
Do you folks think it would be an ideal world if nobody cared what anybody else looked like? Be honest, here!
Things like weight and hygiene are not only indicators of underlying problems, but when properly maintained, can be motivating, personally enjoyable, or even something you do to make your partner happy.
It's like a checks-and-balances thing. And would our health and happiness be more likely to go way out of whack if we didn't have this built-in desire to date people we find attractive and keep them that way? (Meaning, keep them appropriately attractive; the opposite of trying to dress your 50-year-old wife like a crash-dieting co-ed.)
Ferociousgoals, I know there are other gay posters, but the subject only comes up where it's applicable.
Though I'm not so sure this a solely hetero problem, now, either! I would believe that there's a biological reason for visuals to be more of a deal-breaker for men than women. But women are very capable of being catty towards each other about appearances, and I don't see why that would be different in a romantic relationship between two women. What do you think? Any gay or bi guys want to comment, too?
Dave, thanks for your post too -- it got me thinking, but perhaps it deserves its own thread.
