 Self vs Others
Right now I'm a little bitter about my current situation. My life is stuck right now between babysitting either my mom or her friend. My mom doesn't want me staying with her, but upon feeling like she might need to go to the ER again, she calls me to come watch her. The lady I'm staying with, also needs a lot of attention due to disability (Mary). Both irritate me by not really doing anything beyond getting by with their situation, and yet I feel somewhat trapped.
Yet that isn't the truth. Mary is a nice lady, and very giving whom does have a lot of health issues. She is in almost constant pain. Yet she almost refuses to change her lifestyle or to learn the things she needs to live healthier. While I would love to help her, as her kindness and lack of assertiveness has been taken advantage of in the past.
Back to myself is where the real problem lies, I want to do something with myself but I'm not sure how or where. I've recently bought some books off Steve's recommended list, including Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, and Is your Genius at Work. I haven't really gotten into as yet, but have plans to do so shortly.
I'm upset because I know I have the abillity to do better, and I also want to help make things easier on those I care about, but I can't do it like this. And I feel I keep running into their limitations as my own. So, I've been torn about moving back to Las Vegas, once more. Though, I'm afraid if I do, about getting a call something happened with my mom.
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