Quote:
Originally Posted by Holistic Star  John Demartini says the purpose of a relationship isn't happiness, it is growth. You attract in a partner the denied parts of yourself. So Steve, you attracted Erin because you wanted to own the loving parts of yourself. Erin was attracted to Steve because she wanted to own the confidence parts of herself etc.
The annoying things about your partner are always aspects that you need to accept in yourself. |
I find this to be
very true.
The very aspects and traits I would consider annoying are really just strengths, or at least, positive attributes, that I do not yet embody or understand (or both).
E.g. In terms of truth, love, and power, I'm mostly truth and love. At the moment, I'm learning about power, and it's very easy for me to see the exercise of power as lacking in truth or love, but really, there is love--I just don't understand this "foreign language" of power yet. To use an analogy, it's like the mix of truth + love + power looks like it's almost fully lacking truth and love, but it's just a different "mix"--a sort of cocktail--I'm yet to understand. I'm used to seeing truth, love, or truth + love--those are cocktails I am familiar with and enjoy--but add the ingredient of power to the mix and I say, "ugh, what is this strange drink! It needs more truth and power!" But really, the ingredients of truth and love are there... the power just gives it a unique flavor; one I'm starting to enjoy and appreciate (generally with the flavours of truth and love still present) because it has different, more desirable "nutritional" benefits to drinks made only with love, truth, or both.
To the degree I resist power, avoid it, or paint it as "bad" in my mind, I won't understand it. Perhaps one of the most helpful habits I've developed in my life is to simply keep connecting with something until I understand it. I try to find a way to love--to include--everything in my reality (or at least, the things that seem important, or the things I'd really like to learn to love). I may not opt to express it or engage with it after that, but I no longer feel the need to distance myself from it out of fear once I understand it.
I'm learning that there can still be fear in play which can get in the way of constructive expression of each principle, but, well... whenever I perceive someone in someone as "bad" these days, I'm using Byron Katie's "turn around" to point it right back to me so, firstly, I can see the person, and secondly, so I can begin to consider the situation more clearly.
It's easy to respond to fear with fear; much more challenging (and fruitful) to do your best to respond with love.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Holistic Star Isn't it great that growth is the default way of being! |
I wouldn't have it any other way, but it can be bloody annoying sometimes! Heh.
I'm learning to whine less, though. Whining is such a waste of my power.
(I really need to drop this self-congratulatory sense of humour I have, but damnit, it amuses me so.)