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roxyruby · 05-08-2009, 02:21 PM

I loved this post I guess it resonated with me alot because of the experiences I've had.

A guy of "stereotypical" desirability didn't really do it for me long term.

A few years ago I manifested the "perfect" boyfriend. He was tall, handsome, made good money as a chef, I went out with him for a week or so, mainly I couldn't cope with having a relationship at that time though because of very bad social anxiety disorder I had at the time, I only saw him twice I think & with a girlfriend with me. It also broke up cause this other guy was really jealous & although he was being a jealous jerk I actually ended up with him and he's my boyfriend right now!

You see this other guy who had been my friend for a long time (and we had naturally started flirting and found out we were very compatible sexualy!) I think thats the difference....No other guy turns me on sexually as much as he does, and its the same the other way around.

And, we are also best friends, and sometimes have discussions all night long. He is not amazingly handsome in a stereotypical way but I have all the feelings I need when I'm with him. But it is good that he is taller & bigger than me ^ ^
And yes we DO help eachother grow.

I feel like most people would be jealous of the relationship we have...

He actually helps me so much with the social anxiety. He tells me strongly "but why would you care what other people think?" And just everything that I need to hear.

Contrast it to my mother and fathers relationship. It seems to me that my mother sort of married my dad just to fulfil expectations in her family, or because she wanted a guy with a stable job that she could get money off.

It just seems to me like natural attraction wasn't the case, and because of that there is not really any love or romance between them.

So I think the most important things for a successful relationship is NOT stereotypicaly desireable traits, but 1. Friendship (common interests, you could talk for hours etc) 2. Sexual compatibility (do you turn eachother on heaps? have similar sex drive? similar fantasies?) 3. Love- do you feel in love with them? Wanna cuddle up to them and kiss them while saying I love you? Lol

Well those are the three things I think.... If you want a friend...then you only need the first one, if you just want a sexual partner, then u need the second one & could also have first with it.

Ofcourse me and my bf are very different in ways... I like flowers, peace, relaxation, cute animals, pretty things LOL he likes wierd alien things, He is more atheist while I'm more agnostic & new age, and all "guyish" sorta stuff i guess.. oh yeah he is like "**** authority and rules" but I have a different mindset

he does have a soft side though...I can make him cry if he thinks I'm gonna break up with him or he's gonna loose me! But even then he's ashamed of crying, prob cause of that strong masculine stereotype

05-08-2009, 02:21 PM	#7 (permalink)
roxyruby Family Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 5,929	I really know what steve is talking about I loved this post I guess it resonated with me alot because of the experiences I've had. A guy of "stereotypical" desirability didn't really do it for me long term. A few years ago I manifested the "perfect" boyfriend. He was tall, handsome, made good money as a chef, I went out with him for a week or so, mainly I couldn't cope with having a relationship at that time though because of very bad social anxiety disorder I had at the time, I only saw him twice I think & with a girlfriend with me. It also broke up cause this other guy was really jealous & although he was being a jealous jerk I actually ended up with him and he's my boyfriend right now! You see this other guy who had been my friend for a long time (and we had naturally started flirting and found out we were very compatible sexualy!) I think thats the difference....No other guy turns me on sexually as much as he does, and its the same the other way around. And, we are also best friends, and sometimes have discussions all night long. He is not amazingly handsome in a stereotypical way but I have all the feelings I need when I'm with him. But it is good that he is taller & bigger than me ^ ^ And yes we DO help eachother grow. I feel like most people would be jealous of the relationship we have... He actually helps me so much with the social anxiety. He tells me strongly "but why would you care what other people think?" And just everything that I need to hear. Contrast it to my mother and fathers relationship. It seems to me that my mother sort of married my dad just to fulfil expectations in her family, or because she wanted a guy with a stable job that she could get money off. It just seems to me like natural attraction wasn't the case, and because of that there is not really any love or romance between them. So I think the most important things for a successful relationship is NOT stereotypicaly desireable traits, but 1. Friendship (common interests, you could talk for hours etc) 2. Sexual compatibility (do you turn eachother on heaps? have similar sex drive? similar fantasies?) 3. Love- do you feel in love with them? Wanna cuddle up to them and kiss them while saying I love you? Lol Well those are the three things I think.... If you want a friend...then you only need the first one, if you just want a sexual partner, then u need the second one & could also have first with it. Ofcourse me and my bf are very different in ways... I like flowers, peace, relaxation, cute animals, pretty things LOL he likes wierd alien things, He is more atheist while I'm more agnostic & new age, and all "guyish" sorta stuff i guess.. oh yeah he is like "**** authority and rules" but I have a different mindset he does have a soft side though...I can make him cry if he thinks I'm gonna break up with him or he's gonna loose me! But even then he's ashamed of crying, prob cause of that strong masculine stereotype Last edited by roxyruby; 05-08-2009 at 02:34 PM.