How funny. My husband is ENTJ and I'm and ENFP. Similar dynamic.
It's a combination that works because we are similar enough to appreciate the extrovert intuitive side of each other, but different enough that there is space for learning and understanding. Yes I'm the messy one too, he's the neat one. I was hoping his neatness might rub off on me, but it hasn't worked yet!
John Demartini says the purpose of a relationship isn't happiness, it is growth. You attract in a partner the denied parts of yourself. So Steve, you attracted Erin because you wanted to own the loving parts of yourself. Erin was attracted to Steve because she wanted to own the confidence parts of herself etc.
The annoying things about your partner are always aspects that you need to accept in yourself.
You then have children and they embody any additional aspects that you as a couple still need to accept and own so you get even more growth.
Isn't it great that growth is the default way of being!
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