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Originally Posted by Wax Frog  Every time I come running here for "answers", I get slapped back even harder to go back to meditating and 'reprogramming' myself. I have a thick Norwegian woodenhead (insert Viking wisecrack here  ) ego that still wants to believe there's some simple recipe it can use to take a shortcut through the Inner Work Woods; he's finally being reached I think. |
LOL, I noticed that as well. There is no escape, it's all on you, always has been, always will be.
Like I said earlier, if you're willing to be uncomfortable, you can pull this off. And here's something to look forward to, if you really truly decide to take responsibility for how you think, feel and act, and do your best to stay consistent, in the not too distant future you will not even recognize yourself or your life. You will have changed that much.
Just like me and going out and socializing (which I did again last night, and had fun and talked to a bunch of people again). I'm no different than anyone else in that I need to be around other people, but for some reason, I used to think I didn't belong around other people.
I was willing to challenge that assumption, and I'm at the point where I'm starting to go out on the evenings alone to social settings and getting involved on a regular basis. I'm at the stage that if I'm home alone for more than two nights in a row I get restless and I find myself going out even if I had talked myself out of it a little earlier. Now I don't see myself as a guy who stays home all the time, I see myself as a guy who goes out a couple times a week and has fun conversations with new people in relaxed settings. That's a nice foundation to have. And the more I do it, the more I reinforce to myself how easy and natural it is, and it gets its own momentum.
AND walking the streets of San Francisco alone, I never thought I'd be able to do that. But it's just kind of "happening" because I WANT to break out of my shell and its own unique way, and on its own time, that's what seems to be happening.
But the price for all of this is butterflies in the stomach and some sleepless nights as your ego wrestles with the new things you're asking it to deal with. If you keep looking within for answers, like is happening now, you'll have less butterflies, and more exciting anticipation instead.