Well, when you boil it down to bare bones, you have 3 options:
1. You can ask her to change. (not feasible and will never work anyway...people have to change because they want to change)
2. You can change yourself. (personally, I'd never advise anybody to change themself for a relationship unless the change is something they intended to do anyway or fits within their desired goals)
3. You can leave.
Of those three options, you have control over two of them. You can't make her change. Changing yourself may created resentment.
In my opinion, this looks like one of those incompatibility issues. It'd be one thing if you were married...at that point I would advise going to marriage counselling or something like that. But you're not. You're in the dating process (the process by which we consciously select potential mates and test to see if they make a good match), and in the course of your dating process you have discovered that she makes you unhappy.
It's unrealistic for you to demand that she make you happy. Only you can make yourself happy. But if you discover that being with her takes away from that happiness, then you need to get away from it or change the situation in some way.
IMO, the only truly feasbile and healthy option of choice here is leaving, but that's a decision you need to arrive at on your own. And I think you are getting there slowly.
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