Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post

bob5483 · 05-07-2009, 01:56 AM

Hey everyone,

I am currently in a relationship with a women thats 4 years older then me and has been engaged in the past. She has been with many men, and I have not been with that many women. We started out very passionate and I thought she was the one. I never thought that soulmates, true love or any of that nonsense was real until I met her.

But as the months went by, I saw more and more of her other sides. The less then perfect sides that exist. Her father was an alcoholic growing up and she actually stoped him from killing himself. The man she was engaged to was physically and emotionally abusive to her and she is a very damaged person. I am finding it more and more difficult to be with her. Because of these experiences, she is very difficult to deal with. Her emotions tend to be up and down and all over the place. She is not abusive or anything like that towards me, but I am constantly in battle with her. She has very bad anxiety and had bilemia problems when younger, but still has traces of it. I have suggested therapy, but that ended in a fight. She took that personally.

The truth of the matter is that its so hard to be with her. I struggle with whether or not I should leave. She thinks that we will be moving in together soon and be married one day, but I don't want to live unhappily. Her family is hard too. Her sister and brother are very mean and spiteful people and seem to want to hurt everyone around them. When I add all these things up, its telling me to leave. But the thought of that breaks me. I just keep asking myself, what happened? Am I just running? I guess I have to judge just how much I love this person, because its going to be very difficult if I choose to live a life with her.

I guess I just wanted others thoughts of the relationship and what they would do. Or if someone has experienced something similar. I guess I am just looking for advice on what to do. I am not afraid to speak to her, but I feel like once I put these wheels in motion, there is no coming back. Please help, thank you.

05-07-2009, 01:56 AM	#1 (permalink)
bob5483 Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 30	Emotionally immature and confused Hey everyone, I am currently in a relationship with a women thats 4 years older then me and has been engaged in the past. She has been with many men, and I have not been with that many women. We started out very passionate and I thought she was the one. I never thought that soulmates, true love or any of that nonsense was real until I met her. But as the months went by, I saw more and more of her other sides. The less then perfect sides that exist. Her father was an alcoholic growing up and she actually stoped him from killing himself. The man she was engaged to was physically and emotionally abusive to her and she is a very damaged person. I am finding it more and more difficult to be with her. Because of these experiences, she is very difficult to deal with. Her emotions tend to be up and down and all over the place. She is not abusive or anything like that towards me, but I am constantly in battle with her. She has very bad anxiety and had bilemia problems when younger, but still has traces of it. I have suggested therapy, but that ended in a fight. She took that personally. The truth of the matter is that its so hard to be with her. I struggle with whether or not I should leave. She thinks that we will be moving in together soon and be married one day, but I don't want to live unhappily. Her family is hard too. Her sister and brother are very mean and spiteful people and seem to want to hurt everyone around them. When I add all these things up, its telling me to leave. But the thought of that breaks me. I just keep asking myself, what happened? Am I just running? I guess I have to judge just how much I love this person, because its going to be very difficult if I choose to live a life with her. I guess I just wanted others thoughts of the relationship and what they would do. Or if someone has experienced something similar. I guess I am just looking for advice on what to do. I am not afraid to speak to her, but I feel like once I put these wheels in motion, there is no coming back. Please help, thank you.