[songwriter]

I've thought about my purpose.
I've thought it was to be a musician or so but I get no happiness in exposing my music or in performing in front of people, even if they like what I do.
mmm...

Some possible purpose of me could be:

-Be a great musician (composer and performer)

Other one could be:

-Be a great and pro musician (because I get no happiness in seeing my music is liked perhaps I need to win money)

And other:

-Be a great and pro musician with kind of artistic freedom (be a pro musician, playing and singing songs in a way I don't like wouldn't make me happy, I think, even if I win a lot of money)

As you see purpose 3 makes me think purpose 2 is wrong. So I would have to choose between 1 and 3. The thing is when I've tried to be a pro musician with artistic freedom I don't have enjoyed the process.

But I enjoy a lot every progress I make in being a musician, no matter if successful or not.
So I guess my purpose is the first one. "Be a great musician" or so...

That means that it doesn't matter for me if people hears my music or not... or if I make money or not... it sounds strange to me.

I'm gonna do the WANT-CAN-NEED-SHOULD thing.

I WANT to be a great musician (that's true).
I CAN be a great musician (It's the best thing I can do, I think I'm able to do it, some tell me so)
I NEED to be a great musician (well... that's true I can't forget music)
I SHOULD be a great musician (mmm... :-/ does that mean I should be a "only in my home musician", what's the use of that for the world?)

What's the use of a musician that only plays, sings and writes for himself?

Now I'm gonna do the test with the purpose 3
I WANT to Be a great and pro musician with kind of artistic freedom (I'm not sure of wanting it... especially the "pro" word)
I CAN be a great and pro musician with kind of artistic freedom (that's hard to achieve, but is possible)
I NEED to be a great and pro musician with kind of artistic freedom (Well, maybe I need it, other jobs leave me thinking of being a musician but... anyway I'm not sure of wanting it really...)
I SHOULD be a... etc. Well if I think my music is good I should share with people. So yeah, I should be that.

Both Purpose 1 or purpose 3 fail. Purpose 1 one in "I should be a musician (only for myself)" and Purpose 3 in "I want to be a pro musician with kind of artistic freedom".

The key thing is exposure, I don't get happiness because of exposure or by success. Good comments, applause, compliments... don't have an effect in me. Or at least is nothing compared to what I feel when doing music alone.

So, at the moment I've got to choose purpose 1.

Just "be a great musician"