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Originally Posted by elias_naur  This I've heard variations of before, and in fact my ex-wife specifically states that "other single fathers [she knows] usually want to see more of their kids". This must be where I'm "broken" in some way. How long did it take you to come to this conclusion? Personally, I don't see any "point" in child caring for me as a parent, but while my ex-wife likes to do other things too, parenting is basically the _whole_ point for her. |
It took me about a year and half to get to that point.
It helped me when I stopped looking at it from the perspective of "childcaring" and looked at it from the perspective building a relationship with my children. At the end of the day they are people, just like me. And even though their needs are more simplistic while they are young, there is still a need to build the relationship there.
I also started looking at it as a way to grow in my own personal development (which helped me in leaps and bounds) and started realizing that they have a view on life to which I want to strive for.
It's easy for us to get lost as adults as to what's most important in life, and kids have that perspective naturally.
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Originally Posted by elias_naur The way I see it, this is not about just about responsibility, but about the underlying motivation for your specific actions. Just as you're vastly more efficient in work you do because you like it and it gives you meaning than work you don't see any greater meaning in. |
Well, this isn't "work." (no wonder you are having such a go at this) This is human interaction and relationship building. You can't approach relationships the way you approach work. Relationships are fluid and ever changing, like a stream. You don't work to any particular goal in a relationship, but rather you flow with the stream wherever it takes you.