Angela, I think you are absolutely right. Happiness should come from within yourself, and not others. I'm lost here and I think I kind of lost that guiding principle I've had this far in my life because I thought I had found something extraordinary. I think I'm, little by little, letting go of that feeling. I'm fighting between reason and heart here. And for someone whose been a very rational person thus far, always looking out for my own good and now I'm in a place where I haven't been and I'm finding it difficult to navigate. You need someone to remind you of that every once in a while, so thank you.
Spirit47111, thank you for the matrix. We're meeting face to face in a couple of weeks and, being the nerd that i am
, I will be there with paper and pencil to discuss our options.
I've always valued this relationship because it's been more honest and communicative (maybe due to the distance) than the ones I've had so far, so I really need to practice what I preach.
Thank you also ssandra and MyEyeIsOpen. I think, albeit it all, I want to make this work, not at any price, but to give it a good shot at least. Fear is a powerful emotion and fear of letting go and going to the deep unknown maybe even more so. Discussing thing like this is hard over skype and when we're together, it seems so easy that you forget to deal with the difficult stuff. But I can't lose myself in the process, I'm sure it will come back as anger and hate. And no relationship should be that.
Wish me luck.