I'm still a bit confused, so when you try to reconcile relationship with your ex say, you need to love yourself first. In that process, do you ask universe for the reconciliation, or do you focus on yourself, loving yourself etc and keep the relationship (what you truly want like get back together) away from your mind and by not thinking about it you detach yourself from it? Would then universe bring you what you truly want without you even conciously asking as you are then in the right vibration?
In short, should you think about your ex in the process of loving yourself? Hope this makes sense.