[Plato]

When in doubt, change the rules.

This is a rather cunning trick I've been learning recently. When I reach an impasse, or I feel stuck in a dilemma, the key to escaping it is to change the rules until I am able to win.

Realising this is possible... it's like being handed a whole pile of cheats for real life.

When learning to value myself, I had to flip my personal values from externally defined models, given to me through social conditioning, to the things that I happen to do very well.

Now, I value the courage to be fascinating and abnormal in a judgmental society, above all things. I value undermining social norms, and shocking people out of their rutted and dogmatic ways of thinking. It really makes me feel good. Through this I get a great deal of amusement, and also contribute to making the world a more interesting place.

I value people who define their own tables of values, not accepting what is foisted upon them. This is the sign of greatness, to me.

For a long time I was stuck being nervous in social situations. I wanted people to like me, but I was fighting against a force of nature. There's no way everyone can like me.

Time to change the rules! Through the help of various people who have passed the same way, I realised that a much better paradigm is to aim at amusing myself, rather than having people like me. It's far more effective, and waaay more enjoyable.

Frustration, overwhelm and failure (there is no failure of course, in reality, only experience) are simply a result of setting yourself up for a loss by playing a game you can't win. The art of life is to turn it into a game that's the right difficulty level for you, as well as absolutely compelling.