[BlackWigger]

Originally Posted by Manomanman

You can, but it takes work. A healthy dose of Steve Pavlina can cure you.

There's a difference between being in a state of love with other people, and needing an ego boost from other people. Just the language (with vs. from) is a huge clue to the perspective shift you need.

That's another problem I've got... I don't feel like I 'love' other people, or just like to be around them for what they are. Maybe it's because of my anxiety though :/

Originally Posted by AlexL

BW--
I am a physician. While I hesitate to make a diagnosis over the internet of all places, you quite clearly seem to me to be depressed. Everything you're feeling and everything you're thinking are as a result of that low life-condition. I wrote a post called "The True Cause Of Depression" on my own blog (link below) in which I discuss the fact that anti-depressants don't cure depression but they sure do treat its symptoms. The mere fact you haven't yet killed yourself is a testament to the fact that you actually still want to be happy, despite what you're writing here. And despite how many have responded, there most definitely is a point to life: to be happy! How to achieve that, however, when emotions change moment by moment, is the trick. In Buddhism, which I practice, we distinguish between relative and absolute happiness. Relative happiness would be having your second cousin actually be interested in dating you. But even that joyful feeling would change after a while. Absolute happiness is by definition dependent on nothing outside yourself, but rather on a deep awakening to your truest, largest self, an awakening that manifests a life-condition as far away from depression as you could imagine. It is truly possible. However, thinking about becoming happier and reasoning through depression don't work. You need a practice. And you need an anti-depressant. Please realize that your thoughts and feelings of hopelessness now are a part of an insidious depression that simultaneously saps your will to act to help yourself and simultaneously makes you rage at yourself for feeling so helpless and useless. But a better self exists inside you as a potential at every moment. Please visit my site. Explore. And get professional help.

So you are really a physician ? Cause it feels like depression is caused by, not causing all this.

Originally Posted by codenamesmiley

I do not personally feel that you are serious about ending your life, or you would not have posted a "cry for help" in a public forum. That is enough to tell me that you "choose" life!! Unfortuneately it also tells me that you only agree to do so, if someone can tickle your mentality in such a way that you want to live without having to change your outlook. (pick a side to this emotional tug of war.)

I would rather die than live, but I just can't make the last step and jump from the building cause I'm a ***** (and usually am irl). I ain't sure that I would do it even if something horrible happened to me.

Originally Posted by Parthon

The reality is people who are happy and living their lives have the same problems and the same concerns you do, they are living in the same empty life. They have overcome it, or embraced it, and used what they know and the advice other people give for fuel to push them forward.

I'm not sure the majority is truly happy. I'd say most live in ignorance. I guess that's better though.

I tried thinking how me being lonely and mostly isolated from my peers doesn't really matter, I think I even felt some kind of inner peace for a few moments. But I'm not sure about it.