Life is whatever you want it to be. You obviously want it to be pointless, so it is.
It is what it is. And if your really serious about dying, you'll pull it off. It's not really that hard, jump off a 30store building. Trust me, you'll die.
Or shove a bullet in your head, works like magic!
The fact that you're scared of dying means you do want to live, you just don't want to live like you are right now. Everything is pointless to you, but you don't want it to. You want something to have a point. Dying doesn't have a point, so why bother dying?
Look, no matter what you decide to do, it'll be pointless. Because you want it to. If you want something to have a point, It'll have a point. You decide the point of whatever it is. "I want to be better at bowling." Point being: getting better at bowling.
But what does that matter in the end? NOTHING! Exactly. So do whatever the hell you want to do because in the end it doesn't matter. Do you want to sit and ponder on suicide all day? Does that make you happy? I bet it doesn't. Everything is pointless, but I'd rather be happy than sad.
If you dont care weather you live or die, and you hate wherever you are. Pack a bag and go hitchhiking for as long as you can. Either you find something worth doing, or you die trying.