Well, the easiest way to kill yourself is handgun in the mouth and up through the brain. Not a certain death, but easiest. The cheapest would be jumping off a building, which would be certain, or getting hit by a car/train, which would be less certain. There's also taking a whole bottle of pills such as sleeping tablets.
But you already know this. I'm not telling you anything new. If you *REALLY* wanted to kill yourself, and your dispair had overwhelmed you, then you'd have no rationality that would ask how or why. You say that life is meaningless, and I fully believe you, but you've missed the point.
The point of life is that there's no point at all. You don't have to do anything, you don't have to achieve anything, and you certainly don't have to win at anything. You can! But you don't have to. You have flaws; who cares! Thanks aren't going as planned; it doesn't matter! You have thoughts, emotions and an ego; whoop de doo! All this creates is freedom from thinking that life *HAS* to be a certain way. It really doesn't. It has no meaning and no point and no way it should be.
On the same page, you don't deserve anything. You don't really even deserve the air your breathe. Plants grow and die so you can eat, perhaps animals too. Forests cycle carbon dioxide into oxygen so you can breathe. Heat evaporates water, and mountains turn it to rain so it can flow down rivers and into dams and through pipes to your house where you can drink it. Builders build your house, roofers put the roof on, painters painted it, etc, etc, so you would have somewhere to live. If you really want to honour the contribution all those around you have done, and to pay the world back for your thanks, you wouldn't wallow in self pity, but find out what wishes and desires they had and fulfill them for them.
There's a huge difference between wanting something and deserving it. A massive gap between desire, and entitlement. There's a HUGE opposite between having joy over the things you have, and feeling sorrow for those you don't. You have so much to be grateful for, your health, your life, your abilities and your power, but you cry about what you think you don't have. And what you think you don't have isn't even real, it's all in your head. You imagine being smarter, but in reality you are just as smart as you are. The whole "I'm not <blah>" is completely and utterly made up, and completely in your own head. And you can't even see it! It's real for you, and it's 100% your imagination! ARGH!
