Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - i need help dealing with a death in my family

leroy7 · 01-19-2007, 07:25 AM

I lived with my parents and brother. About 6 months ago my dad passed away of a heart attack. he was healthy, never had anything wrong with him he was 42, it was something i never thought would happen and i wasnt prepared to deal with. me and my brother are both 19 and in college. I was being the strong one in the family, trying to keep everyone together and not let things fall apart because of this. i was working two jobs and continued going to school full time. my mom fell into depression and is getting worse with each day. she smokes a carton of cigs a day with a bottle of whiskey. she doesnt work anymore and my brother dropped out of school, quit his job and stopped talking to everyone. ive been pretending im okay for so long to keep everyone else okay that its finally caught up to me and i dont know how i can get out of this depression and feel like myself again. my friends and even coworkers are worried about me. i havent been sleeping. every night i would wake up with a night terror. they make me leave bruises, hand prints, or scrathes on my legs. i clench my fists so hard, my nails make my palms bleed. so i dont sleep. ive been having panic attacks also. i went to the doctors but all they would say is its stress or depression. but i wont take any medicine. a few months after my dad died i moved out of my house. my mom has gotten so hard to live with and theres no way i can help her. my brother is on his way into the military to get away from her. i dont think im every gonna be healthy again. i hardly sleep i work every minute im awake just to distract myself, and im just exhausted and it seems even the times im happy, im still depressed about loseing my dad. i just want him back and i havent yet realized that cant happen. i feel like i cant go through everyday knowing hes not gonna be here. i cant look into the future knowing that im gonna be alone. still today ill think hes still here and i wanna go talk to him then i realize that he isnt. is there anyone out there that has any ideas on how to help me.

01-19-2007, 07:25 AM	#1 (permalink)
leroy7 Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 4	i need help dealing with a death in my family I lived with my parents and brother. About 6 months ago my dad passed away of a heart attack. he was healthy, never had anything wrong with him he was 42, it was something i never thought would happen and i wasnt prepared to deal with. me and my brother are both 19 and in college. I was being the strong one in the family, trying to keep everyone together and not let things fall apart because of this. i was working two jobs and continued going to school full time. my mom fell into depression and is getting worse with each day. she smokes a carton of cigs a day with a bottle of whiskey. she doesnt work anymore and my brother dropped out of school, quit his job and stopped talking to everyone. ive been pretending im okay for so long to keep everyone else okay that its finally caught up to me and i dont know how i can get out of this depression and feel like myself again. my friends and even coworkers are worried about me. i havent been sleeping. every night i would wake up with a night terror. they make me leave bruises, hand prints, or scrathes on my legs. i clench my fists so hard, my nails make my palms bleed. so i dont sleep. ive been having panic attacks also. i went to the doctors but all they would say is its stress or depression. but i wont take any medicine. a few months after my dad died i moved out of my house. my mom has gotten so hard to live with and theres no way i can help her. my brother is on his way into the military to get away from her. i dont think im every gonna be healthy again. i hardly sleep i work every minute im awake just to distract myself, and im just exhausted and it seems even the times im happy, im still depressed about loseing my dad. i just want him back and i havent yet realized that cant happen. i feel like i cant go through everyday knowing hes not gonna be here. i cant look into the future knowing that im gonna be alone. still today ill think hes still here and i wanna go talk to him then i realize that he isnt. is there anyone out there that has any ideas on how to help me.