[Kasha]

This means so much to me...I wrote out the following to clarify my thoughts, and am surprised at how much depth there is to this issue!

Well here's some history of that apartment:

My family are Greeks originally from Istanbul..during the 50's the Turkish government and extremist political parties started promoting Turkish nationalism which the Turkish people bought and things became very difficult for the native Greek, Armenanian, and Jewish populations living in the city. From that point on, there was an exodus of non-Turkish people back to their 'homelands'.

My Great-Grandmother was a woman wise in real estate, and always believed that '4 walls' were always the best investment someone could make. She bestowed that philosophy upon my Grandmother, who upon seeing political turmoil slowly began selling what was hers.

She smuggled much of that money into Greece in the 70's when it was a dangerous thing to do. She came to this suburb of Athens and bought two apartments against my Grandfathers will (as dear a man as he was he did not have a head for the business of real estate, like my dear father). One of those apartments is the one in question.

There has alwayes been strife on my father's side of the family with regards to inheritances as my Great Grandfather was a wealthy man...so my Grandmother and Grandfather had to make sure that everything was fair with regards to dividing the estate between my father and his sister. The apartment HAD to be willed out to my dad, otherwise there would have been severe problems...perhaps my dad would have cut his grandchildren (my brother and I) from his parents had it not been this way.

So, there was no way possible that apartment could ever have been willed to me.

But my grandma, while alive, always understood that I needed help.

I came to Greece, alone (my family, including my parents live in Canada). I was originally in the UK, broke, jobless, only had a ticket to come to Athens as a back-up plan, which I used. Homeless, jobless, without knowing the language well, my Grandma took me in.

I stayed with her for two years. You see, besides being named after her, I also share many of her quirks, her stuborness, and other traits. I learned a lot about myself while living with her. She and I have some sort of telepathy...if I left the stove on for example, I'd see her 10 minutes later get up from watching the tv to go turn it off..stuff like that.

On another level, she started becoming a bit senile(?) at the end...she would start telling me stories about my dad, my grandfather, the entire family...what she went through with the Turkish authorities. In the end, I think I understood her better than anyone else because I was the only one (besides my Grandfather who passed in the early 2000's) that lived with her the last 40 years.

Anyhow, when she passed it was devastating for me. I lost the only person in Athens who cared if I was eating or sleeping right, if I had enough money etc...

My grandma knew when things were rough for me, I think she felt it. It was strange..I'd go for coffee at a particularly stressful time financially and she would throw me a hundred euros upon leaving. She would give me money on odd occasions this way. Once, when I was really in debt, she gave me 500 euros out of nowhere to go buy a motorbike (?)...that was her excuse! Grandma would NEVER approve of a young lady riding a motorbike. She knew I would spend it elsewhere.

Upon her passing I stayed away from the apartment for about 18 months and I just moved back into the neighbourhood recently. I want that apartment because her soul is there. I need some sort of base and it just feels right. Besides practical reasons, (i.e. the perfect neighbourhood to raise a kid, near the city, near the water, etc.)...for me its an indescribeable feeling of 'adding' to something that already exists...what that 'something' is I can't quite explain.

She started something there...I want to continue it. I go there and feel her presence. There were so many happy times (and hard times!) had..my father never lived there..he never had an attachment to that place. Much of myself is rooted there as my spritual development commenced the day I moved into that place.

So that's the long story. As for your comments (for which I really really thank you for taking the time to make!):

"My psychic guess is that what you say you want is not really what you want, and that if you probe your own mind a little deeper, you will understand better what it is that you truly want."

My mind tells me that I need some security, some stability, and a place to plant some roots. I love the area and love that apartment in particular, and the feeling it brings me. I want to share that apartment with my entire family when they come for vacation, with my friends when they come for coffee, with my future children.

***

"What you have is some unresolved issues relating to the relationships between you & your father; "

My father and I have always come to a cross-roads when it comes to real-estate investing. He is a government worker and frightened about his own personal security. When my mother wanted to transfer the property rights of a piece of land in Greece, I think he stopped her. I don't take it personally, he's looking out for himself but cannot help but feel he is a little selfish in this respect.

Another issue is the potential mis-management of the place. He left it alone to fall into a state of disrepair. He doesn't care for that place, he doesn't even like Athens. He owns a couple of properties already in Canada and will have a generous pension upon retirement.

I understand his worry about this future, and I'm sure if I was to give him the money for the apartment he's feel much more secure. This will help him as well.


***

"you & your memory of your grandmother"

I never told her enough how much I love her and need her. I took her for granted. Her hospitatlity was asphyxiating sometimes, she was always in my business! Nagging at me to eat enough, to sleep enough, etc...I miss her despite all that!

***

"and your perception of the relationship between your father and his memory of his mother."

My father did not have a very good relationship with his mother, and left her when he was about 20 years old. I'm not sure he really understood her, and was always concerned about his sister getting more from the Great-grandfathers estate than he. This was an issue he had with his family from years back, I remember as a child him complaining about his parents on this issue.

***

"The apartment situation is merely the external manifestation, in your reality, of your own thoughts and beliefs centering around those unresolved issues."

Maybe. I honestly feel I was closer to Grandma than anyone. I have so little left of my routes as my family is divided. The only physical thing I have left connecting me to my Grandma is that place...there is so much good there, so many positive thoughts and vibes. Could that be the mean reason I want the place?

***

"When you treat the causes, that is, your unresolved issues, rather than the effects of those causes, then you will arrive at a satisfactory and pleasing outcome in your reality. 200,000 Euros won't help."

I never want to forget my Grandmother and what she did for me. Pictures aren't enough. I want that place! It's not the 'best', its old, its falling apart. It's full of her 'Louis IX' furniture! I see past all of that. It was hers and she and I are forever united in spirit, the closest person to me. More than my Mother to be honest. I sometimes wonder what our relationship was in past lives...

***

"you are starting big and I am not an expert in this but one thing I have learned is that it has more to do with a feeling than anything else."

I totally understand what you mean. But I don't really need anything else...I've got clothes, shoes, whatever I need materially, which is not a lot. I'm not a person who needs all the 'extras'..in fact I've been living a barebones lifestyle for the past few years, eating only foods in their natural form, buying the most necessary clothing, and being very frugal (to the point where I wash all clothes by hand to save money). The thing missing is stability in where I live. I must own something, to plant roots somewhere.

***

"Can you image what it feels like to be living in that apartment? Start imagining it and walk around living the way it would feel if that were your home."

Not only can I feel what it would be like living there, I've also mentally started the renovations for the place! I want to make it the grand apartment as my grandmother had it, a place I would be proud to show all my friends and family!

***


Hope those who read this found it to be an interesting read!