Quote:
Originally Posted by Dan.Linehan  @ TiffyLove,
When I read your original post, I asked myself why you are trying to help others, instead of helping yourself?
What are you doing every hour of every day, to enjoy and love your life? I feel like you are letting self-imposed loyalties hurt you instead of enjoying your life. |
Well the way I enjoy life is by helping others. And I do not feel like that all the time. I will be honest I have not completely pulled myself out of it but I have got that spiral spinning upwards again rather than downwards.
I know it seems like I am not in a place to help others by that post but I know I have helped dozens gain a new perceptive on their life and ironically the one thing I am good at is breaking peoples victim role mentality.
This is my interest, when someone's husband comes to me and says "I don't know what you have been doing to my wife but she is completely different, she is even smiling again and our relationship is dramatically different." That is what makes EVERYTHING worth it. If i have to hit the bottom a few times in order to be able guide others out of theirs well unfortunately if that is the only way to learn it then I shall do it.
But I do see a different side of what you are saying. When I get back from my silent retreat next week I plan on starting up a new hobby. Something that has NOTHING to do with personal development (because that is what my entire life revolves around right now), just something I enjoy and can put some time into just for myself. I believe the difficult thing with this is to actually find something I enjoy and be able to commit myself to.
I will also be finishing my website. I am saying this here to openly voice my commitment to these things.
I know right now I need to let my boyfriend go through what he needs to go through, and I need to focus on moving forward in other areas in my life so that I build a bigger and bigger foundation for myself.
Right as I was typing that I had a huge "aha" moment. Years ago, Before I met my boyfriend I was a wreck, I met him right after my entire life had fell apart and everything in my life was changing. I mean everything. I was completely lost and didn't know up from down, I knew I wasn't going to accept what I had before and wanted to make better decisions but I had no idea what I was doing. We became really good friends for a while and he was my support to build myself up. He became my rock and my foundation. That is probably why I feel so threatened when he is not so stable. That is such an insight for me. Now that I am aware of it, it will change things. THANK YOU