*hug*
We all want the pain and confusion to stop. That would make things easy, and of course, it will never happen. But it is possible to learn more helpful ways of responding to the pain and confusion in life.
I used to think that my mood represented the state of my life. But now I see it as just some emotional turbulence that will eventually be gone, if I just let it visit for a while without trying to force it out. I recognize that a bad mood means I have temporarily lost my wisdom and perspective, and I should chill out before I start making conclusions about who I am and how my life will turn out.
I have found that trying to escape a bad mood will only make it worse. If you haven't read
this yet, give it a shot, it may help.
Yet everyone always "bails" on me, no one sticks around, everyone gives up on me, I am the honest one, I am the committed one.
Be careful what you say to yourself. Momentary beliefs tend to become established as "facts" if you don't question them, especially when you are in a bad mood.
That line of yours is almost certainly not true, but if you believe it is, you will be
looking for people who will fulfill your lack of faith in them. People generally get what they expect, in life.
This is just a personal opinion, but I would give the LoA a rest for now. It certainly has its uses, but I think it often leads to a constant state of
wanting, which is the opposite of happiness. Come back to it another time.
Remember, life is managed, not cured. You can't stop the waves but you can learn to surf. That's what life is all about, learning to surf, so to speak.