[carnelian heart]

I spoke with a wise friend about this and we went over the fears of the ego:

I needed to see that I would still be myself with another name, and even if everyone had my name. I needed to see that she is a hurt and floundering individual, and in need of compassion. All this pushing against her was not accomplishing much except for an emotional drain. But if I let the issue push past me, it just works itself out. I can be like a boat above the waters of emotion.

One of my biggest fears is that I'm a bit of a celebrity in my medium-sized town because of the fire dance group I've led for the past 5 years, and that people will mistake me for her or vice versa, but that is something she will have to deal with more than I will. As long as she doesn't take up fire dancing, I think it will be alright. If she does, we will have to have a real talk about what this means.

All this means is that I have lost some of my valued buddhist traits over the years.