Thanks for your extensive answer.
I agree with many things you say.
From some paragraphs of your reply I also feel that you are making too many assumptions about me as a person and of my experiences, so I feel you didn't get the point of my problem.
What I'm trying to say since my first post is that, in all my experiences so far in life, I've had an extremely positive attitude towards everything, including in my general relationships with women.
However, my positive attitude (and however much happy I have been) severely clashes
with what I study in science and what empirical findings say.
My relationship to what I learn is:
- I experience life
- I study life, learn something new
- I apply that in my next experience
- I add that experience to my studies
and that's a kind of loop.
Yet... the findings of valid academic empirical research have a greater weight on my conclusions in my personal life (and this may be my mistake!).
My interior struggle has always been to disprove the typical materialistic results of science. So, in many ways I agree with what you're saying, or I would want
that what you say is universally true, but science says the opposite.
(note that I am using the generalized word "science" as all empirical research and academic theories in psychology... it has no relation to science vs religion or such issues).
So, to be completely honest, I'd be glad to create my own research project in which I convince all the current scientists that what you
are saying is possible is true! Now that would be great.
I agree with most of what you say (on attraction, mate choice, etc. most of which is also quite common sense in psychology), but there are certain things that cannot be changed, esp. due to my disability.
Originally Posted by James81
You take care of and focus on those three things, you are going to see major changes in the area of your relationships. Why? Because in getting what you want in those three things will ultimately change your attitudes about life....the crux of everything that is holding you back right now.
I am in the process of doing all those things
Yet I wonder whether I will be able to get the most beautiful woman unless I make major sacrifices (getting THE most well-paying job, etc. basically, focusing all my choices on goals of life, career, interests, etc. only so that I can get her!).
What I am saying is that I don't
want my desire to get the most beautiful woman to shape my life, my activities, my interests, my career etc. since they are more important to me than any romantic relationship.
However, should I ever decide to be in a relationship with a woman, beauty is for me the most important value since I enjoy it intrinsically. Please read my answer to Rachelle to understand what I mean.