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Originally Posted by FirstLife  This is not about attitudes or beliefs but results of empirical research. |
Everything is about attitudes and beliefs. Every action you have done or will do first started as a thought or a belief. Your mind and body are like a computer in a lot of ways...whatever you input into the computer, it will spit it back out. Garbage in....garbage out.
Your actions, lack of action, accomplishments are ALL a mirror of your thoughts.
Until you get that most basic of concepts, you will NEVER ever ever be able to change.
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Originally Posted by FirstLife Howevermuch confident you are, there are so many other rules in play that may sound superficial but are what drives the world: money, physical strength, etc. |
You are not the world. You are one person. And the dynamic of the world is so diverse and fluid that you can't broadstoke any generalization to "fit" into the mold. Like I said, it's your beliefs that are limiting you...not the world.
ESPECIALLY with women. Your situation (money, physical strength) is not holding you back from being successful with women. It's your beliefs that are reflecting a menatlity that is unattractive to women.
You see an effect, and you immediately link the cause to some external cause. For example, you look at guys with money, strength, power, etc. and see that they are surrounded by women. So you immediately do what most of us men do...logically conclude that women want men who have money, strength, power.
But it's not the money, strength, power, etc. that women want. It's the attitudes that come WITH those things that they want/are attracted to.
For example...a man with money has shown several things: 1. He can provide for her and her children 2. Socially he has been accepted and has the confidence to continually get what he wants...so she knows that not only can he provide for her, but he has what it takes to keep providing for her long term.
A man with strength has show several things as well...1. He is confident and believes in himself, because he is strong and can take care of himself (and her) 2. He has the stamina to endure hardships and overcome them
Do you see what I'm getting at? Also, keep in mind that these are subconcious cues that a woman receives from those things. She doesn't actually THINK that, for example, "Oh he has money! He can provide for me!" It doesn't work that way. All it does is flip a switch that she probably can't describe or pinpoint, but is biological and psychology within her. In the same way a nice pair of breasts or a wide set of hips flips those switches in YOU, as a man, that you are attracted to her. You just know that you are attracted to her. You don't consciously realize that you are subconsciously attracted to those things because they signal 1. The increased likelihood of healthy offspring 2. Her ability to nourish a child.
As a scientist, that should make *some* sense to you that the attraction switches within in us are a result of evolution and the things that we find attractive stem from the things that our ancestors of ancient have replicated. The genes that have survived (us), are essentially based in the natural selection of mates in our history.
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Originally Posted by FirstLife I don't want to make any assumptions about where you are getting at but before anything let me tell you that I also explored seduction/pick up methods in my late teens, and many of my few relationships started thanks to those. |
That should give you a clue, then. I'm not big on the PUA community, but there ARE many great things that it can teach you. The biggest is that you need to get off your ass, go out and try stuff, and see what works for yourself. That's the most important thing you can carry away from that type of stuff.
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Originally Posted by FirstLife What I conclude, however, is that no seduction method can ever even out your pre-conditions in the long term, unless you consciously work on those pre-conditions (money, strength, etc.) |
You're on the right track, but I think you put too much stock in those specifics (money, for instance). it's not the money...it's the things BEHIND the money.
Here's the deal....
1. The number one most important thing you can do for yourself is live a healthy lifestyle. This means eating right and exercising. Without a healthy body, you aren't going to have the drive to endure. So, first things first, research/study nutrition and exercise and find yourself a good regimine to get yourself on.
2. Career. It's not so important that you make a ton of money. What IS important is that you find a career that not only makes you happy/gives you fulfillment, but also puts food on the table and provides stability. The ability to provide while providing value to others is not only important for women, but for yourself as well.
3. Social circles. Building your world. Knowing who you are. Look, are you even living? Or are you sitting around reasoning the world and life away. You don't have to be some party animal, life-of-the-party type, but you do need to know some basic social dynamics, have some stuff going on in your life so that you aren't needy/clingy, and be generally happy about the world you have built for yourself. You construct your reality...not vice versa.
You take care of and focus on those three things, you are going to see major changes in the area of your relationships. Why? Because in getting what you want in those three things will ultimately change your attitudes about life....the crux of everything that is holding you back right now.