Originally Posted by Rachelle
Hmm. First off, I'm kind of curious why you keep referring to your ideal romantic partner as a prize?
What value do you believe you have to offer or bring to a relationship?
If you feel you aren't attractive or fit, then why not set your mind and ambition to excel in becoming fit, strong, and sexy? I think it simply takes commitment. Healthy and happy people are, generally speaking, pretty attractive.
I have a deep respect for women, the same respect I have for men and all other human beings. I don't make any distinction, and I have fervently fought to make this clear through what many would call "feminist" acticism, and I know very well both from real life experience and academic studies that looks don't always
say everything about the other traits of the person. Each individual has her special and unique set of qualities. Research does
suggest that good looks can influence the development of ones' personality!
However, I personally
love the intrinsic value
of physical beauty. I'm not discussing whether beauty is objective or subjective, but simply that if I am to live with another person, beauty (in the way I perceive it in advance, before knowing the rest of the person) is the most important trait.
And, after all these years, I could reach the extent of saying that beauty/sexual attractivity is the only
thing I truly need
from my ideal romantic partner, since I am pretty self-sufficient in everything else.
I have tried believing that I also need emotional commitment and such things, but I come to the conclusion that those eat me up from within even when I am in the "honeymoon phase" of a relationship. I am very well off by myself and feel that I can do my best towards the world and myself like that.
I am pretty healthy and very happy, sometimes even overly optimistic
(which may be related to why I am so self-sufficient).
What I omitted in my above post is that my attractivity has been hampered by a disability that was caused in an incident (yeah, even ambitious people fail!) so that's something I cannot work on. I have tried to, but I invested so much time that I had to put aside many things where I generally excel at.
What I mean is that I would want to become attractive only
in order to get the most attractive girl... which led to my conclusion: if such an investment is too risky and doesn't have return, it would be really a big cost for me in terms of all my other activities.
What I can offer to a woman?
I think leadership, social stability (in the long term, i.e. when I am up in my career ladder) and a bit of entertainment. However, I fail in some of the most important things needed by an extremely attractive woman (according to empirical research):
- protection, physical strength
- money in the short term (Invesment Banking is not my career choice)
- rich and popular family