[TiffyLove]

I find that I go back and forth between allowing myself to get uncomfortable and being quite amused by the situation. When someone is looking for someone to "buy into" their story with them and directed that urning at me, such as in a conversation it becomes very uncomfortable for me ( I don't allow myself to get sucked in when I can clearly see that is what is) but if the story/drama is happening where I can just observe it, I find it rather amusing and entertaining.

I like watching other people get frustrated and annoyed by other peoples dramas and stories. It helps me grow and expand my awareness. However the second someone is telling me their story and looking for me to buy into it, I get uncomfortable. Especially when they are talking directly to me and looking for a response because I know they are not going to get a response out of me. Other than.... "oh". lol. Man!, some people can be vicious when you don't buy into their stories. And then the guilt trip they try to put you in and try to get you to defend your "non-response". From this I have learned that ANYTIME I get defensive, I am defending A STORY of mine that someone is not buying into, as soon as I recognize it, I drop it real quick.

And in response to being lonely, I actually felt a lot more lonely in the beginning of my spirituality. At times I do feel lonely but now that you mentioned it I actually feel the least lonely now than compared to any other time in my life. I do however feel as if I am never truly understand. That everyone see's me as the character they made up me to be in their game of life but never really see true me. Even though that is true, Its interesting because I used to crave to be understand and seen and not until you mentioned this did I realize that it doesn't seem to bother me much anymore.

I tend to feel the most in tune with others when I can speak with friends who are on a spiritual and personal growth journey as well. That is when I feel "seen". Although I do wish I had more friends to spend time with that were of like mind. That would awesome (ok! universe!). Maybe that is why I spend time on this message board. Interesting discussions with lots of like minded people.

This does bring up some questions, how do most of the people on this board who are aware and do not get wrapped in other peoples dramas deal with people who are trying to convert(lol) you to their story? Everyone on here must deal with it on a regular basis, it would be nice to know how some of you handle those situations.