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Originally Posted by James81  Sorry man, you are logically trying to compartmentalize woman, and woman are not rooted in logic so much as they are rooted in emotion. |
Humans are NOT rooted in logic, regardless of their gender. (
Logic is an artifact of language, fewer than three thousand years old)
While men tend to be RAISED to control or ignore their emotions, women are generally not, which explains the phenomenon you are trying to express.
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Originally Posted by James81 If you are meeting with success with your method, then it's because you are exhibiting other behaviors that those women find attractive. You can't broadstroke your advice based off of this one little trick, because there's way more to it than that. |
There is no trick. This works because it empowers the woman to make up her own mind, with the confidence that she will not be exposed to harsh and public criticism and condemnation for opting to enjoy her sexuality outside of a 'conventional' relationship.
This will work for
EVERYONE, EVERYTIME, if they employ it sincerely, without outcome dependence.
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Originally Posted by James81 In fact, it's kind of hard to broadstroke dating/sex advice anyway, and usually when I see someone doing it, I immediately write them off as a keyboard jockey or a fraud. Nothing personal, just stating my observations. |
I couldn't agree with you more, for the most part. That said, I'm not offering any dating advice at all in this thread, nor sex advice, neither.
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Originally Posted by James81 Another thing to think about.....there are TWO types of friends when it comes to women. There's the "friends with whom she MAY sleep with if the right situation and circumstances allowed it" and there are the "completely and totally friendzoned guys that she can never be attracted to." Your advice might fall in line with the first one, but it gives false hope to the second one (where more guys actually ARE whether they realize it or not). |
There is no such thing as 'The Friendzone' unless YOU PUT YOURSELF THERE. It ONLY exists in the mind of the person who believes they have been relegated to it.
It is a severely limiting belief, an existential handicap which prevents success from even being possible for those who choose to believe it.
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Originally Posted by James81 The real truth behind it is this...be who you are. |
Now THAT is good advice!
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Originally Posted by James81 Don't choose to be friends with a woman that you find yourself desiring to sleep with. |
THAT, alternatively, is social suicide. If I enjoy a woman enough to be her FRIEND, them I'm virtually certainly going to be attracted enough to her to want to sleep with her. (There are certainly physical 'types' which I am less attracted to, or even repelled by, but it would be dishonest to suggest that I couldn't imagine finding them sexually attractive if the emotional/sensual connection was right)
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Originally Posted by James81 If you want to sleep with her, then escalate it toward a sexual relationship, NOT a friendship. |
WHY? Why should ANYONE limit themselves to ONLY having sexual pleasure with someone in an established 'sexual relationship'?
Consider this for a while before you try to answer it, please.
Then, please return to the ORIGINAL POST, and see that this is NOT meant to be a method for turning women whom you've found attractive, but when you couldn't manage to get them to consider you as 'boyfriend material', you relegated yourself to the 'Friendzone' to await her eventual notice...
This is for GENUINE, LEGITIMATE, ENDURING FRIENDSHIPS which established themselves organically.
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Originally Posted by James81 I don't know about you, but when I choose to be friends with a girl, I immediately remove the idea of having sex with her from my mind. She becomes on of those people with whom I seek friendship. |
In other words, you assert that you can only have male or neuter friends.
Instead of allowing gender to be an issue, I determine who my friends are through mutual discovery, psychological and spiritual compatibility, and philosophical harmony, resulting in our having shared values. I normally do not have sex with anyone who would not qualify to be my friend!
However, whether or not we ever DO have sex is insignificant, in the larger scheme of things. "I am open to all outcomes, and attached to none", as my dear friend
Zan often says, and is equally true for me.
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Originally Posted by James81 When I want to have sex with a woman, I escalate the situation towards a sexual relationship and take the risk like a man. |
Have you considered that what you are ACTUALLY SAYING IS:
"When I meet an attractive woman, I immediately attempt to begin a sexual relationship with her, because that is the ONLY OPTION I can imagine.
I can not be her FRIEND, because my craving for sex with her will override my abilities to reason and relate (since, as a man, I am driven by logic
) and it will just cause me suffer."
Please take a few moments and consider that... and then consider that IF YOU DON'T INSIST ON 'OWNING' THAT WOMAN (ie,
not formally acknowledging a social contract of sexual exclusivity) then you COULD be her friend, on a long-term and enduring basis, AND POTENTIALLY ALSO HAVE SEX WITH HER, when it suited you both.
That is the essence of my message - and it works very well for everyone who tries it, PRESUMING THEY DON'T LET THEIR EGOS INTERFERE.
Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy