[Cron]

The issue of looks is one of those things where people don't say what is true, even to themselves.

Looks count.

In my opinion, what separates shallow from non-shallow people is if looks are all that count.

As you wrote, somebody letting themselves go can also be an indicator of negative changes in their character that a partner may not want to live with.

Honestly,.... a woman letting her looks go can change how attractive a male partner finds her and can decrease his enjoyment of sex.

What would I do? Sit my partner down and have an honest talk about it, trying my best to be non-offensive as well as respectful. After that I would give her time to see if she is making an effort to change. If not, I would try 2-3 more times with a talk before deciding to try something else (like reevaluating the relationship ).

This all depends on how far things have gone. I wouldn't make a big deal about a small letting go and even if she let herself go to hell it would be a matter if her personality changed or not. Everybody finds themselves in a rut. If the person is trying that is one thing, if she has given up that is another.