[John Wesley]

I see where you are coming from. It is difficult to decide on anything spiritually. I personally don't believe in the dogma of any religion but neither am I a certified atheist. I feel there is unity in the universe and that saying out right that there is no God is an oversimplification.

Being someone who continually questions their own spiritual beliefs is a hard life. We are never certain of anything. We can never rest our minds on one set of beliefs, we are constantly changing, learning, and revising.

I think you just to need to accept that there is no one final truth to discover. I think you are confused because different elements of many things appeal to you while others turn you off. You think that nothing on your book shelf goes together, but another way to think of it is that everything goes together, that every piece is one part of a vast body that makes up your personal spirituality.

I hope this is of some help. It is always difficult to express spiritual notions. Words are never sufficient. You should have confidence that you are doing the right thing by exploring new beliefs and always questioning them.