To me, connecting with people is all about being vulnerable with them. That vulnerability will allow you to go deeper than the surface level and truly connect with them.
To be vulnerable you must first be truly honest with yourself. Take a day, week maybe even a month thinking (or writing) all the things that are true about yourself that you may not want to admit. All of your quirks, your nasty little thoughts you have, all of it needs to be recognized within yourself.
I'd suggest reading the book radical honesty or taking a look at the way Steve P. writes. He has the courage to say things about himself that makes him very vulnerable to attack but also vulnerable to being loved. People recognize that courage, respect it and it allows them to find their own courage to be vulnerable with him ( complete strangers telling him their life story without ever meeting him).
Most people play it safe and are too scared to open up to others. They avoid vulnerability and as a result are neither hated nor loved. This leads them to feel very isolated and alone. Every conversation is had with an acquaintance and as deep as a puddle-"how are you? how's work going? Good, work is good too. "
How many people do you tell that you are into self improvement and read this site? If you tell very little people and are kind of embarrassed by it this would be something good to start with. Tell your family, tell your friends and tell complete strangers about it.
Generally, a third of the people will hate you and think you are weird, one third won't care and a third will love you for it. Come to accept that this will happen most of the time. After a while of becoming an open book (extremely vulnerable) you will be very comfortable with how people react to you.
|