[Manomanman]

I'm right there with you. Change is hard because we don't understand it. We're brought up to live in a world that values tradition, authority, etc.

When you change, you disrupt that order (for the better, of course), and therefore there will be short-term disruptions in the "stability" of you life. This threatens your ability to survive. Friends will withdraw their support. You'll have to find new ones. You could lose your job. You could get sick. etc. etc.

We fear the unknown, because it can kill us. It's a survival instinct. To change as a person, you've got to be totally ready to take risks. You probably have a risk-averse personality, and every time you try to change you get rewarded by stopping.

You're going to have to dig deep down to figure it out.

Also, you may lack direction so far. You've got some vague idea of what you want, but you life philsophy isn't fully developed. Work on it. Free your mind completely, and JUST WRITE. Write about what is most meaningful to you. Express in WORDS what it is that's bothering you. If it doesn't come out clear and direct, take some time off and try again.

Now take that, go out into the world, and add to it. Then repeat.

I can tell you from a very recent and powerful personal experience that when you FINALLY find your "calling" in life, it will feel like such a strong drive, you'll think you've been possessed. You'll have that pep in your step, a reason to get up early. Life won't suddenly be perfect, and you will make mistakes, but you'll have found a direction and now simply have to take the steps.