Hi there!
Back after my high-school graduation, I had the sense my good friends would stay connected forever. Six months later, I hosted a festive holiday party and over 100 of my highschool friends and acquaintances attended. We had a blast, reminiscing about highschool, talking about work and university and all. Now, I tried the same party invitation a year later. 10 people showed. I was confused. I thought, where is everybody? Now, over time, I came to realize that friends of circumstance are those people who have things in common temporarily, but the relationship doesn't go deeper. My 10 year highschool reunion only brought together 50 of the 550 graduates and that was a bizarre event. Many people didn't recognize each other. Some people had changed drastically, matured or grown whereas others had stayed exactly the same.
My own experience is that the friends I'm still in touch with years later are those who put effort into nurturing a relationship. They are genuinely interested in me as a person as I evolve. I reciprocate and these friendships endure. These people respect me for my choices, are not afraid or put off that my job changes or geographic moves may be very different from their own lives. We live vicariously through each other. You find out who matters based on who chooses to stay in touch over time and who demonstrates compassion, empathy and love to you, no matter what.
