You sound like you are me! stoppit!!
I know this impulse, for me, stems from my not being able to let go of the past. It's like psychologists will describe the family situation when there's an alcoholic in the family --- there's always a big invisible elephant [signifying the problem of alcoholism and it's effects] in the room, that everybody sees but pretends isn't there. Exactly the thoughts you're having --- I am nearly 26 now, and am just starting to change. Please don't waste another three years of life walking through a courtyard filled with invisible statues and animals, like I did. LET GO of all those ideas from the past, those expectations. When you go to bed every night you need to be able to be at peace with the day that has just passed, AND you need to feel like you improved if only a bit, if only by keeping your word!
This is what I'm finally doing, and please, do the same. Let go of your harsh stresses upon yourself AND do something about it. Be active everyday and don't allow yourself time to criticize yourself. Ever heard about life being too short? You don't want to grow an appreciation for that the wrong way. woww..... I just realized I should rewrite this post. I won't, but I'll throw the thought out there that just struck me.
I'm a fan of the Bushido, a very old book on Samurai ethics. There is so much wisdom therein. The first thing it impresses upon the reader is: Die! Die again everyday! At the beginning of each day, plan on it being your last and accept your death ahead of time.
Life really is too short. Keep your word to yourself. Be active, make strides towards your concrete goals, and plan to fail. We never are immaculately perfect in our completion of a task; learn from your failures, and thereby progress to the next day stronger, wiser. Be calm and know that your word is a vow. Keep that vow.
|