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Gary · 01-16-2007, 04:21 AM

One of the big problems when faced with fearful feelings is that we fail to scrutinize what we are really afraid of. One of the first steps to get free of fear is awareness. Self awareness begins with ruthless self inquiry

For starters, I suggest dissecting the fear of failure. By leaving it in such a large massive general block it is tough to break free of. Break it down into small pieces. What is failure? It’s not being a success.

Is success the same for everyone or does each person have their own version? Obviously each person has their own mental version.

That means fear of failure is not meeting my own mental version of success.

Will this still be your version of success when you are 35 or 50? Probably not.

So fear of failure is now not meeting your temporary mental picture of success?

I then suggest scrutinizing the details of the personal version.

You can go further with this but should have the idea by now.

By breaking it down, the small failure of a calculus test no longer means the end of our life dream. The exaggerated consequence is the result you had drawn earlier when you left the fear in one giant block.

Does that one score on one hour of testing, based on one aspect of your intelligence determine who you are and what you are going to do the rest of your life?

Well if I put it this way, perhaps not.

Exaggeration in the mind is dangerous when we are not aware of what the mind is doing.

The other part is to look at what creates the emotion. Events in our life don’t create emotion. Our interpretation and what we believe about events is what creates emotion.

With fear it usually is related to avoiding something we perceive to be painful. Maybe “failure” is a term that when applied to ourselves results in self rejection. Believing in our internal dialogue of self rejection means results in emotional pain.

In this case failure really means not getting what we temporarily imagined we wanted. And the real fear is that we will believe it will result in an internal dialogue of self rejection and the painful emotions of low self worth.

In this case we are more afraid of what we will believe about ourselves than the performance on a test. In this scenario succeeding looks like a way to avoid this perceived pain of self rejection.

In my book that isn’t success, that is our fears driving our need to succeed as a compensating strategy because we are unaware of the illusions in the mind.

All of this rambling may not apply to you, but it’s just an example of the mental and emotional stuff that is often below our conscious awareness.

Awareness is the key out of these dynamics. A process of self inquiry into the layers of stories behind the fear is one of the approaches that can get you out of the emotions of fear.

Anyways, I’ve been in fear and found this process to work for me. It takes some practice, but if we plan on living for a few more years, you might find the return on investment worthwhile.

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Pathway To Happiness

01-16-2007, 04:21 AM	#3 (permalink)
Gary Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 101	A process of self inquiry to attack fear One of the big problems when faced with fearful feelings is that we fail to scrutinize what we are really afraid of. One of the first steps to get free of fear is awareness. Self awareness begins with ruthless self inquiry For starters, I suggest dissecting the fear of failure. By leaving it in such a large massive general block it is tough to break free of. Break it down into small pieces. What is failure? It’s not being a success. Is success the same for everyone or does each person have their own version? Obviously each person has their own mental version. That means fear of failure is not meeting my own mental version of success. Will this still be your version of success when you are 35 or 50? Probably not. So fear of failure is now not meeting your temporary mental picture of success? I then suggest scrutinizing the details of the personal version. You can go further with this but should have the idea by now. By breaking it down, the small failure of a calculus test no longer means the end of our life dream. The exaggerated consequence is the result you had drawn earlier when you left the fear in one giant block. Does that one score on one hour of testing, based on one aspect of your intelligence determine who you are and what you are going to do the rest of your life? Well if I put it this way, perhaps not. Exaggeration in the mind is dangerous when we are not aware of what the mind is doing. The other part is to look at what creates the emotion. Events in our life don’t create emotion. Our interpretation and what we believe about events is what creates emotion. With fear it usually is related to avoiding something we perceive to be painful. Maybe “failure” is a term that when applied to ourselves results in self rejection. Believing in our internal dialogue of self rejection means results in emotional pain. In this case failure really means not getting what we temporarily imagined we wanted. And the real fear is that we will believe it will result in an internal dialogue of self rejection and the painful emotions of low self worth. In this case we are more afraid of what we will believe about ourselves than the performance on a test. In this scenario succeeding looks like a way to avoid this perceived pain of self rejection. In my book that isn’t success, that is our fears driving our need to succeed as a compensating strategy because we are unaware of the illusions in the mind. All of this rambling may not apply to you, but it’s just an example of the mental and emotional stuff that is often below our conscious awareness. Awareness is the key out of these dynamics. A process of self inquiry into the layers of stories behind the fear is one of the approaches that can get you out of the emotions of fear. Anyways, I’ve been in fear and found this process to work for me. It takes some practice, but if we plan on living for a few more years, you might find the return on investment worthwhile. ____________________ Pathway To Happiness Last edited by Gary; 01-22-2007 at 05:41 PM.