I sympathize with the OP, as I recently found myself in a similar situation, though not nearly as extreme. My girlfriend had two cats before we bought a house together, and I was okay with that as I liked cats, though I didn't necessarily want to take care of them. I also didn't like that she let the cats have free reign and walk wherever they wanted. I talked with her about this, and she said that she would do the cleaning of the litter boxes, and other unpleasant duties of cat ownership. A few months later, I found I was doing a fair share of the cleaning. I wasn't really upset about that, but I started to get upset when I would let the cat litter cleaning slip due to other things I wanted to do, and she would complain that I wasn't doing my share of the duties. I reminded her of her promise that she would do that work, but she said that didn't matter because they were *our* cats now, not hers, and I have equal responsibility.
Later on we ended up acquiring a Cockatoo from her parents. I never liked birds much, and to this day I can't see why anyone would want one as a pet (it's incredibly loud and annoying when not completely satisfied). While I did reluctantly agree to taking the bird, it was largely out of a guilt trip (her parents were moving out, couldn't take the bird with them, she was its "mate", we can't give it away to a stranger, etc). I really began to dislike being in the house when the bird was noisy.
About the same time we were getting the bird, she decided that she absolutely needed a dog to be happy (she used to have dogs at her parents place too). I had never owned a dog and didn't have any desire whatsoever to. She was very insistent and told me she would be unhappy and unfulfilled without a dog. I eventually gave in and let her get one as a christmas present. Again, I insisted that this is *her* pet if she wants it, and that she would have responsibility for taking care of it. She agreed, but said she would want me to walk it when she's sick or away, which seemed reasonable to me. A short while later, I found myself walking the dog everyday after work. I did this on my own accord because I really felt he wouldn't get enough exercise otherwise. Recently we had an argument in which she brought up the fact that I didn't make dinner after work like I used to (she works later than I do) and I told her it was because I was walking the dog after work instead. She wasn't satisfied with that answer because, as she said, I don't *have to* walk the dog right after work.
Anyway, we are still trying to resolve some of our disagreements, but several things have helped. First of all, set strict limits about what you are comfortable with and what you are not, and make those known to her. For example, my gf's cats used to be allowed on the table at her place, and she would feed them scraps of food just as your gf does. I told her that is not okay for me. I like having the cats and all, but the kitchen table and counters are off limits to them. This was not a big restriction, so she agreed.
The second thing that I think was really helpful was thinking about what exactly it was that bothered me and why, and working on those root causes rather than the general issue of animals in the house. For example, I didn't want a dog because some of the people I knew who had dogs ended up with disgusting houses because of it. So what I really didn't want was a disgusting house, not necessarily a dog. After getting one I find that I like his company most of the time, I just have to be more diligent about keeping the house clean.
Constructive communication is very important. If there is some behaviour that you want to have her change, let her know about it in a constructive way. Inform her that you have big concerns about the sanitation issues of having the cats roam around on the table, rather than calling her habits disgusting. And do let her know that her getting animals without asking you makes you feel like she doesn't care about your opinion. If she cares about how you feel, then she will take that into consideration. If she doesn't, well that's a bigger issue that you have to sort out...
There are also some technical solutions you can look into for your problems. We have enclosed/covered litter boxes in our house which don't let out much odour if there is any. Self cleaning litter boxes are an option as well.
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