Pyrogen,
I admire your honesty in this post. Like Angela says, you've got a great opportunity here now to change. Yes it won't be instant. But keep checking in. Am I acting in my best interests here? Am I acting like the best version of me would? And take those baby steps ....
The first step is awareness of the problem. Even being aware after the fact is great because you can now take that awareness with you.
Even if you don't have a romantic relationship right now, I'll bet that this pattern shows up in your life in many ways with friends and parents. You'll be playing different roles in it too. Sometimes you'll be the one being frozen out, sometimes you'll be the sympathetic friend that doesn't help by encouraging the behaviour, and other times you'll be the role you identify now.
Can you see that pattern showing up in your life in many different forms? Have a look ( you might have to be creative), because often when we have a problem, we play it out in many ways until we fix it.
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