[MidasGirl]

OP, I'm fascinated by the fact that, so many people from different races have reached out to you in compassion, and rallied around you, and not once have you thanked any of them. Does that by any chance mirror how you live your life around these black women you speak of?

You're certainly dealing with a self-hatred of sorts, and you have very possibly projected it onto your race. I'm a black woman and I've never run out of incredibly beautiful and generous black women to associate with. Remember, you attract who you are. As well, I've dated men of different races. Also, there is no law that says you can't have friends from other races. If you don't feel connected with black women, reach out to races you feel you connect with. Although, I hate to tell you this but the issue is likely you. And don't forget that you can never run away from yourself. If you go to Brazil, you'll still take you with you.