Yossarian,
There's a difference between having certain needs fulfilled by someone compared to needing that person. For example, you can have have the need to have sex, and someone in particular can fulfill that need of yours. However it doesn't mean you need that person, it just means that person is fulfilling one of your needs.
On the other hand, if you need a person, it can mean that you need them to validate your self-worth, your view of yourself. If that person leaves, or you feel that person may leave you, then you go crazy because you sense a huge attack to your lack of self-worth if they leave you.
You can grow out of needing that person to validate you because you've gained your own validation. However, you can still choose to fulfill your need (or desire) for sex with that particular person. So while you may still choose to fulfill some of your needs or desire through that person, it doesn't mean you need them. It becomes a choice, whereas when you needed that person to validate you, it wasn't a choice.
|